[	mood	|	aggravated	]
[	music	|	Humming the 'Kirby's Dreamland' theme tune	]

Yes, on a trip to Maccy D's this very evening, this lump of fried death fell out of the burger i was about to take a bite into. In case the scale of this monstrous vegetable chunk isn't clear, Oniongate is about the size of a Playstation memory card (that's about 2x4x1cm). That's right, you try imagining eating a memory card crafted entirely of onion, and see how you get on. Now, i'm not particularly worried about any weight gain that may be incurred from eating this (no, i didn't fucking eat it after the photos were taken - who do you think i am, Rik Waller?), but my chances of getting a date could have gone from zero to triple minus figures, which is something i'm not willing to sit here and accept (unless there's compensation involved, hint hint). To add insult to injury, they were out of sprinklin's for the Munchie McFlurry. Don't get me wrong, i'm not a bad guy, but when someone tries to not only choke me with a root vegetable, but also deny me tasty, tasty toffee and biscuity pieces in one evening, i get annoyed enough to sit on my fat can and bitch on a LiveJournal - which is a pretty sure sign that i'm slightly peturbed.

However, this isn't a rare occurrence - i don't know how it works in America and the rest of the world, but in England the McDonald's fast food chain is a joke - if you're underqualified to get work cleaning other people's faeces off the floor in a public toilet, at least you can get a position in a McDonald's branch near you. To put some detail into what i'm saying, there's a kid who hangs around the local arcade after a shift at MD's on a Friday - he wears the cap like a trophy, and radiates grease and the stench of beef patties so much, you can almost see the vapours. This same kid's idea of celebrating his 18th birthday was SHAVING HIS FUCKING EYEBROWS OFF. Is the picture digital SVGA widescreen with Dolby surround now?

Anyway, i will not be taking this situation lightly. If i am not at least made a shareholder in the entire McDonalds worldwide conspiracy, then heads will roll. Probably straight into the patty mixing machine, but the principle still holds.

Not today though.

Today the schedule included a European cartoon called 'Marco and Gina', a travesty of animation so incredibly dire that if it were buried underground, it would cause the nearby plant life to develop shitty French accents, and start trying to plan 'wacky' and 'zany' schemes in order to fill a half-hour.

To further illustrate what i'm talking about, the aired episode featured the not-tired-at-all cartoon cliché of 'identical twin of main character fools townsfolk - humorous European-style shenanigans ensue'. Wow, i haven't seen that in a cartoon recently. And, as the more cynical of you may be waiting for, the half-hour concludes with the twin being run out of town. Then, the real main character fills a cat's arse with expanding foam, and times how long it takes for it to fall over and die, bleeding a rich ochre gunge from all free orifices.

Sigh... That would have been fucking great.

This is the straw that's broken the camel's back (yes, there's been more than one of these festering homonculi on TV). It's like the kids' channels and the crappy British voice actors have a deal going with the rest of Europe, so that when they spend the last penny they have on truffles, or quadruple-embossed toilet paper made from a rare species of tree in the Amazon, another crappy 'toon is churned out for them to provide squeaky voices for.

Where will it end? Maybe some day the programming staff at the BBC will realise that the Japanese and Americans produce better animation than the scabby hooch-guzzling European 'animators' could dream of, and we'll get quality series like Samurai Pizza Cats right up the wazoo until the children of Britain are puking big eyes and coloured hair by the barrowload.

'Sup chums - this is my first entry in this LiveJournal. There was a time when i thought i'd never have a LiveJournal, and that they were merely logs filled with the whining of middle-class goths, 'gurlz', and white-trash kids with nothing better to do. This hasn't changed - it's now time to choose which of these three groups to fall into. Well, i'm not a goth, because if i was i'd probably smash my own face in with a broken chairleg every time i looked in the mirror. I may be white-trash, but it's been many years since i was anything close to being a kid, so that group is out too. Well, i guess i'm a 'gurlz'. Anybody want to have a sleepover?

... Yes. Anyway, this LJ is about popular culture (mainly videogames), if you didn't know already. In this journal, i intend to talk about humorous culture related stuff, like locking an autistic child in a room with a perpetual motion disc (look it up on Google if you don't know what i'm talking about). So, come back regularly for exciting glances into the world of popular culture.

(Wow, you could scrape the sarcasm off that line with a trowel).

That's about it for now. Keep it real. Ah, before the happy train leaves, a breaking headline in the world of videogames... LITTLE MAC IN 'DIFFERENTLY ABLED' SHOCKER!